|
i was the secret you kept
you where the lie i believed
this all wouldn't be, if i wasn't me.
you don't know what it has taken
to try and believe that theirs someone else
but the truth remains your still my number one
the lies im still told by men
are more painful then the truth you tell me
love means so much to me but you mean more
if you only knew how much i still love you
and that i think of you every waking day
he could never take my place, come home to me!
( Chris misses his Cracker!) |
|
Two days past eighteen
He was waiting for the bus in his army green
Sat down in a booth in a cafe there
Gave his order to a girl with a bow in her hair
He's a little shy so she gives him a smile
And he said would you mind sittin' down for a while
And talking to me,
I'm feeling a little low
She said I'm off in an hour and I know where we can go
So they went down and they sat on the pier
He said I bet you got a boyfriend but I don't care
I got no one to send a letter to
Would you mind if I sent one back here to you
Chorus: I cried
Never gonna hold the hand of another guy
Too young for him they told her
Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier
Our love will never end
Waitin' for the soldier to come back again
Never more to be alone when the letter said
A soldier's coming home
So the letters came from an army camp
In California then Vietnam
And he told her of his heart
It might be love and all of the things he was so scared of
He said when it's getting kinda rough over here
I think of that day sittin' down at the pier
And I close my eyes and see your pretty smile
Don't worry but I won't be able to write for awhile
[Chorus]
One Friday night at a football game
The Lord's Prayer said and the Anthem sang
A man said folks would you bow your heads
For a list of local Vietnam dead
Crying all alone under the stands
Was a piccolo player in the marching band
And one name read and nobody really cared
But a pretty little girl with a bow in her hair
[Chorus] |
|
New years was fun
nothing to big
just the 3 of us
we did our shit
and we talked about
better times and
brighter tomorrows
we remembered who
we lost and who
we found
it wasn't the
same as last
years eve of
2006 but it
was a better
one. one that
we will always
Cherish as friends. |
|
So smart to leave a trail of deception
All these late night excursions point in one direction
Your friends call and ask me what rock you’ve been under
But you tell me you’re with them, Now I Got Your Number, Yeah!
Now I caught you, you’re such a liar
Your deception has just expired
Now you’ve broken the rules I won’t play the fool
See I done been to that school
And I’m not stupid like you!
Who did you think I was when you met me?
Such a good boi , so blind
Your vision needs correcting
I heard you was with him
No since in denying
Cause I saw you kiss him
You need to stop your lying oh, oh, oh!
Should’ a known you was wrong
Silly how you carried on
Now you got nothing to say
Cause you made a big mistake
It’s such a shame how you changed
I know how you’re getting down
I’d be dumb, if I stuck around
Can’t turn back now
Must move forward
Made your bed so lie down
Enjoy the sorrow
Can’t be bothered it’s over
We’re done and we’re through
You’re so fired; I’m looking for someone new!
YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE ASSHOLE, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW.. IM NOT STUPID LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
|
Would have given up my life for you
Guess it's true what they say about love
It's blind
boy, you lied straight to my face
Looking in my eyes
And I believed you 'cause I loved you more than life
And all you had to do
Was apologize
You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me, again
No, no, no, no, no, no
Sadness has me at the end of the line
Helpless watched you break this heart of mine
And loneliness only wants you back here with me
Common sense knows that you're not good enough for me
And all you had to do
Was apologize, and mean it
But you didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me
I wish like hell I could go back in time
Maybe then I could see how
Forgiveness says that I should give you one more try
But it's too late, it's over now
You didn't say you're sorry
I don't understand
You don't care that you hurt me
And now I'm half the man
That I used to be when it was you and me
You didn't love me enough
My heart may never mend
And you'll never get to love me
Again |
| » things that are left with me |
|---|
i remember every inch of your body, your scent, and what it felt like to feel loved...
Dec. 12th, 2006 @ 01:06 am
|
| » say it right.. |
|---|
In the day
In the night
Say it right
Say it all
You either got it
Or you don't
You either stand or you fall
When your will is broken
When it slips from your hand
When there's no time for joking
There's a hole in the plan
Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
But you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me
I can't say that I'm not lost and at fault
I can't say that I don't love the light and the dark
I can't say that I don't know that I am alive
And all of what I feel I could show
You tonight you tonight
Oh you don't mean nothing at all to me
No you don't mean nothing at all to me
But you got what it takes to set me free
Oh you could mean everything to me
From my hands I could give you
Something that I made
From my mouth I could sing you another brick that I laid
From my body I could show you a place God knows
You should know the space is holy
Do you really want to go?
Dec. 8th, 2006 @ 11:10 am
|
| » when does crying become unhealthy? |
|---|
all these tears over what?
What made me fall for someone like you?
I LOVED YOU?
You FUCKED ME!
When love hurts it turns into hate, hate drives me to understand what i must do now. I must make this right, For mE!
Whats his name, the boy you've been seeing this summer?
HOW FUCKING COULD YOU?
Dec. 6th, 2006 @ 12:46 am
|
| » you woke the bitch up |
|---|
so how long have you had this boyfriend, im hearing 6 mouths.. how cute i really hope it works out. As for us we are no longer friends or even exs. we never really knew each other, so if u come up to me your just gonna make a fool of yourself. This gives me the reason to be a real bitch, and im using it. If u ever fucking come near me i will make sure you end up in jail. Im not one to be harrassed, you dont deserive to ever see me again. I know this sounds childish, but maybe you should have thought about that beofore playing with someone younger then you! We are still innocent and have faith that not everyone is a SLUT! But im giving you a loop hole to all this drama, Leave me alone, dont say hi, dont talk to me ever. Don't try to contact me through my friends, i wanna act like we never knew each other. It your punishment, you do the crime you pay the time. And im gonna make you PAY big army boy...
SIX FUCKING MOUTHRS, FOUR BEHIND MY BACK... CATCH H** AND D*E!
Nov. 30th, 2006 @ 12:39 am
|
| » Time to write |
|---|
this has been the most hardest thing for me to write or even say. So much shit has happend that i dont want to relive it but i need to post it, and get it out.
I'M A FUCKING IDOT AND A FOOL, i knew from the first day i met him, that i should have stayed far away, that all he was gonna do was break my heart. But the fool that i am i told myself a different story and gave him a chance. He swept me off my feet and was everything i was looking for, he was the one. I was under his spell since the first kiss to the last touch of his skin. i was in love and no one could tell me otherwise. I try to remember where we went wrong the first time, but i remember it was my fault for over reacting to the situation and not giving him a chance. I was lost in emotion and fucking up on drugs that i didn't know what i wanted.
After spending the holidays alone for the 17th time in a row i desided to ask him to come see me. I happend to be sketchy from the night before at the Government, but thats another story for later. We met at 7:06am in the parking lot and had to think of a place to go because my brother was skipping work. We went to the humber to chill in the backseat watching Weeds. We didn't end up realy watching the show but it didn't end up like the first night we met. We spent a few hours together, went to a movie, it was magic. I couldnt help myself from falling in love if i tried. Im still trying my hardest to move on but nothing works...
The first 6 months where a taste of heaven, i got to feel how it felt to be loved by another. I was truely untouchable, i was high off life, off love. BUt what goes up must come down. And the come down was unbareable. Frist it was a fight over my suspichion between him and a ex bestfriend of mine. But it made us stronger with the make up sex. What our relationship couldnt handle was Pride Weekend. Thats where it all fell apart and i saw him for who he really was. the boy i created in my dreams turned into my nightmare. My heart broke, my summer turned into the summer before and i was in trouble. I thought maybe i just needed a vacation, but it got me to thinking. How good is he really, do i really need him in my life? We are just so diffent on the subject of what we really want in this. i just couldnt do it anymore it was killing me. But it kills me not to be with him at the sametime, i knew one day i would fall in love i just never pictured it killing me. Moving on is easy if i was over him and the memory of Us. No one should ever have to feel what i felt when my world crumbled and my sky fell on me. The tears where so bad i couldnt hide them on the subway, the heartache made me drink myself to sleep. The first night it took me a 26er to myface to get me to sleep. The nights i stayed up thinking of what i lost, and what it's going to be like with you gone..
I survived and im still here, im learning how to see life without you and finding hope. Maybe when you grow up and we can see this eye to eye, i dont want you... I just need to move on and deal with my issues and try to love myself. You made me feel good and you where the first boy i ever loved and will always love. but you need to do some growing up, and understand that not everyone sees the world through your eyes and standerds. Some of us have feelings, and take things to heart. Some of us get hurt by the things you do and the things you say, Some of us out there really love you and think the world of you, we just wish you felt the same. please take us in to consideration and remind yourself of whats in our chest. its not just a organ its part of our spirt. and im sure im not the only guy you've done this too. And i wont be the last.....
Nov. 29th, 2006 @ 01:32 am
|
| » HUrt |
|---|
Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes and see you looking back
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that
I've missed you since you've been away
Oh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line to try to turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself
By hurting you
Nov. 23rd, 2006 @ 12:39 am
|
| » me myself and i |
|---|
I can't believe i believed
Everything we had would last
So young and naive for me to think
She was from your past
Silly of me to dream of
One day having your kids
Love is so blind
It feels right when it's wrong
I can't believe i fell for your schemes
I'm smarter than that
So young and naive to believe that with me
You're a changed man
Foolish of me to compete
When you cheat with loose women
It took me some time but now i moved on
Cuz i realized i got
Me myself and i
That's all i got in the end
That's what i found out
And it ain't no need to cry
I took a vow that from now on
I'm gonna be my own best friend
Me myself and i
That's all i got in the end
That's what i found out
And it ain't no need to cry
I took a vow that from now on
I'm gonna be my own best friend
So controlling , you said that you love me
But you don't
Your family told me one day
I would see it on my own
Next thing i know i'm dealing
With your three kids in my home
Love is so blind
It feels right when it's wrong
Now that it's over
Stop calling me
Come pick up your clothes
Ain't no need to front like you're still with me
All your homies know
Even your very best friend
Tried to warn me on the low
It took me some time
But now i am strong
Because i realized i got
Me myself and i
That's all i got in the end
That's what i found out
And it ain't no need to cry
I took a vow that from now on
I'm gonna be my own best friend
Me myself and i
That's all i got in the end
That's what i found out
And it ain't no need to cry
I took a vow that from now on
I'm gonna be my own best friend
Me myself and i
I know that i will never disappoint myself
I must have cried a thousand times
All the ladies if you feel me
Help me sing it now
I can't regret all the times spent with you
Ya, you hurt me
But i learned a lot along the way
After all the rain
You'll see the sun come out again
I know that i will never disappoint myself
Nov. 16th, 2006 @ 08:32 pm
|
| » kiss me fool |
|---|
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?
Tell me what does it mean to be alone?
Can't you see me standing staring out from the distance,
Hear my cry if you'd only listen...
Out of focus, into me and you
Kiss me fool, if you care
If your words have any meaning.
Playing it cool is so unfair
Why this veil of secrecy?
God forbid, your friends found out what we did
Why can't someone like you be someone like me?
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?
Tell me what does it mean to be alone?
Can't you see me standing staring out from the distance,
Hear my cry if you'd only listen...
Out of focus, into me and you
Touch me fool, if your allowed.
I'll be dancing in the corner
It's so cruel to play it proud, take your hands and cover me.
I'm aware that all in love is fair, but that's no reason to make me feel this way.
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?
Tell me what does it mean to be alone?
Can't you see me standing staring out from the distance,
Hear my cry if you'd only listen...
Out of focus, into me and you
And it hurts me so bad to deny it, oooh
These feelings are out of control.
Do you know what it's like to want something so bad...
And then having to let it go?
And it hurts me to know that this time in our lives...
So soon will be in the past
And you spend it pretending your playing it cool.
Never knowing,
Never knowing,
Never knowing what,
Never knowing what we should've been.
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?
Tell me what does it mean to be alone?
You've got me wondering if I'm good enough.
Pretty enough, giving enough, special enough
Tell me who should I be to make you love me?
Who should I be? Who should I be? Ooooh...
To make you love me?
Who should I be? Who should I be? Ooooh...
To make you love me?
Who should I be? Who should I be? Ooooh...
To make you love me.........?
Oct. 2nd, 2006 @ 11:49 pm
|
| » what about us?????????????? |
|---|
Why don't you return my calls?
Why you trip out where I be?
You don't ever come to see me
You say that you're too busy (what?)
What the hell?
I don't have time
Why you messin' with my mind?
I can find another guy
Someone who will treat me right
I don't need this bull ish
I won't put up with it, any longer
You can, go if you want
I don't, need you pity
I will, be just fine
If you decide, that you want to leave
Close the, door behind you
I just, want to know what...
What about all of the
Things that you say
What about all of the
Promises that you made
What about all of the
Ice that you gave
What about all of the
Things you told me
What about all of the
Things that you say
What about all of the
Promises that you made
What about all of the
Ice that you gave
What about, what about
What about us? What about us, us?
What about us? What about us, us?
I thought you said you were different
Was that what I heard you say?
Said that you'd love only me
Thought that you'd be all I need (what?)
What happened to promises?
Said that you were a better man
Your words have no way with me
Cause you're counterfeit, I see
I don't need this bull ish
I won't put up with it, any longer
You can, go if you want
I don't, need you pity
I will, be just fine
If you decide, that you want to leave
Close the, door behind you
I just, want to know what...
What about all of the
Things that you say
What about all of the
Promises that you made
What about all of the
Ice that you gave
What about all of the
Things you told me
What about all of the
Things that you say
What about all of the
Promises that you made
What about all of the
Ice that you gave
What about, what about
What about us? What about us, us?
What about us? What about us, us?
Baby you should now hear this...
Now what if I said that you wasn't fit to be with
Now what if I told you you're game was played, I licked it
Yo what if I said I wasn't true, so do you
You and I know, without me there's no you
So what about the bills that were passed due
Before you, all you said to me was "Baby I'll owe you"
Forget about the brand new life that I gave you
Now what about us to me, now what about us to me
What about all of the
Things that you say
What about all of the
Promises that you made
What about all of the
Ice that you gave
What about all of the
Things you told me
What about all of the
Things that you say
What about all of the
Promises that you made
What about all of the
Ice that you gave
What about, what about
What about us? What about us, us?
What about us? What about us, us?
What about all of the
Things that you say
What about all of the
Promises that you made
What about all of the
Ice that you gave
What about all of the
Things you told me
What about all of the
Things that you say
What about all of the
Promises that you made
What about all of the
Ice that you gave
What about, what about
What about us? What about us, us?
What about us? What about us, us?
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Oct. 1st, 2006 @ 11:17 pm
|
| » sick and tired |
|---|
My love is on the line
My love is on the line
My love is on the line
My love is on the line
A little late for all the things you didn't say
I'm not sad for you
But I'm sad for all the time I had to waste
'Cause I learned the truth
Your heart is in a place I no longer wanna be
I knew there'd come a day
I'd set you free
'Cause I'm sick and tired
Of always being sick and tired
[Chorus:]
Your love isn't fair
You live in a world where you didn't listen
And you didn't care
So I'm floating
Floating on air
Oh.. yeah...
No warning of such a sad song
Of broken hearts
My dreams of fairy tales and fantasy, oh
Were torn apart
I lost my peace of mind
Somewhere along the way
I knew there's come a time
You'd hear me say
I'm sick and tired
Of always being sick and tired
[Chorus 2x]
My love is on the line
My love is on the line
My love is on the line
My love is on the line
My love is on the line
Sep. 30th, 2006 @ 11:11 pm
|
| » it's a heartache |
|---|
It's a heartache, nothing but a heartache
Hits you when it's too late, hits you when you're down
It's a fools' game, nothing but a fool's game
Standing in the cold rain, feeling like a clown
It's a heartache, nothing but a heartache
Love him 'till your arms break, then he'll let you down
It ain't right with love to share
When you find he doesn't care for you
It ain't wise to need someone as much as I depended on you
Oh, it's heartache, nothing but a heartache
Hits you when it's too late, hits you when you're down
It's a fool's game, nothing but a fool's game
Standing in the cold rain, feeling like a clown
It ain't right with love to share
When you find he doesn't care for you
It ain't wise to need someone as much as I depended on you
Oh, it's a heartache, nothing but a heartache
You love him 'till your arms break, then he'll let you down
It's a fool's game, nothing but a fool's game
Standing in the cold rain, feeling like a clown
Sep. 27th, 2006 @ 06:53 pm
|
| » when you where younger |
|---|
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now
Here he comes
He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young
Can we climb this mountain
I dont know
Higher now than ever before
I know we can make it if we take it slow
Let's take it easy
Easy now
Watch it go
We're burning down the highway skyline
On the back of a hurricane
That started turning
When you were young
When you were young
And sometimes you close your eyes
And see the place where you used to live
When you were young
They say the devil's water
It ain't so sweet
You dont have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while
You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now
Here he comes
He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
But he talks like a gentleman
Like you imagined
When you were young
(talks like a gentleman)
(like you imagined)
When you were young
I said he doesnt look a thing like Jesus
He doesnt look a thing like Jesus
But more than you'll ever know
Sep. 13th, 2006 @ 08:07 am
|
| » what hurts the most |
|---|
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do
Aug. 30th, 2006 @ 12:53 am
|
| » i love you more then you know... |
|---|
For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through through it all
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
Aug. 23rd, 2006 @ 03:16 am
|
| » would it really be that bad? |
|---|
if i was too end this life right here
would it really matter?
would you really care..
nothing can amount to the pain i live with
you wouldnt understand, i dont wanna live
theres nothing to look forward too
theres nothing here for me to live for
i cant take it, i need away out
left alone for the moment
left alone forever
depression isnt the word
depression isnt the feeling,i feel.
im screwed for life, no one understands
im only happy when im hurting
i only feel this pain i live with
im dead, dead inside, dead forever..
dont pretend to care, you where never there
dont act like this bothers you, you want me to leave like this
dont go on telling your lies, for i see what who you are
care only for yourself and for no one else
leave me this for this i know, im not the one.
the love of a child is the only love i'll ever know
but whos to say i'll ever i knoo what love is?
im not the one to be loved, im the one who loves.
love is my killer, waitting at the door, and i have no choose
i answer it. awaiting my faith, to die at the state. this is my end
goodbye my friend
Aug. 14th, 2006 @ 06:05 am
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